A Deal with Love

Story by Bonnie Macbride (BBO: bmacbride)

My mother (Wen-Chao) and my aunt (Wen-Yen) were avid club players for years and years. I grew up knowing that the two of them went to Oakland to play bridge daily. They were identical twins. Not a day passed without them talking with each other. They rarely played as partners - too much bickering that lingered.

I learned the rudiments of bridge in my early teens - mostly from Autobridge where I could slide a tab on a large board for the card I wanted to play. Then find out if I had played the card advised by the "expert" who created the card.

When my mom was in her late 80's, it dawned on me that I could play bridge with her at the club. Partly because my children were now grown so I could free up some time. Partly because I felt the impulse to explore playing bridge at a club which I had done a handful of times. But mainly a lightbulb turned on in my mind that my mom and I could have fun playing bridge together.

We did. More than any other activity (mostly lunches in Chinatown), playing bridge with my mom was THE BEST. I got to meet her long time bridge friends. She got to feel that she mattered. I relaxed. She enjoyed me. We were proud of each other in that venue. Not an easy thing in our relationship.

We communicated in bidding. Satisfying. We communicated in defense. Gratifying. I looked forward to our time together. We had found our bond.

She had a stroke at age 88. Passed 2 weeks later. My one regret after my mother passed was that I hadn't started playing with her at the bridge club earlier. We only played for a year and a half.

My grief was big. The grief of my aunt was greater. My aunt and I found each other as bridge partners in sharing the loss of my mother and her sister. Pivotal not only for us but for our families. My cousins chuckled at our new found friendship as I saw my mother in my aunt. Of course I could tell my mother and my aunt apart. But I needed my mother to be alive and found a ready replacement. My aunt needed a replacement for her twin and found it in me, her niece.

That was short lived also. My aunt passed a year and a half later. She didn't want to live without her twin sister.

I am grateful to the game of bridge itself and the community that bridge players share, with the bonds it creates. I carry with me the sea change bridge offered me during this difficult time and forever.


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26 comments on “A Deal with Love”

  1. I remember your mom and aunt from playing at the Oakland bridge clubs. It is so nice to hear your story! 💕

  2. Makes me want to teach my children..as I'm 81, maybe too late? But worth a try!
    Thanks for sharing such an uplifting story.

  3. Great story, learned watching my parents and yes spent hours on autobridge ! The tabs had got a bit rusty so we had to improvise with makeshift covers. Don’t think I learnt much from it however, but will be a lovely display item if I can only dig it out !

  4. Thank you for sharing.There is indeed a special mother-daughter bond that gets even deeper when enjoying those extra moments together

  5. Thank you Bonnie for your story. So lucky you got the years of bridge you did with your mother - she must have been so happy to partner you. Only wish I'd done the same before my mother (a very good player & teacher) passed.
    Its hard these days with both parents needing to work, & with children, to have spare time for bridge. Such a shame, as a fabulous game for all ages. Keep enjoying your bridge.

  6. I just understood by reading this story - so many are like me eager and wonder that how nice it is - if someone we love is also a bridge player or interested to learn bridge!! I feel sic that the game is not picking up any patronage from younger generations the way I wished it to go!
    Lovely story!!

  7. Made me emotional Bonnie. Hope you and your aunt play more in memory of your mom. She is part of you in the table and correct your game. Happy Bridge.

  8. When I was working as an oncology nurse, I cared for a young man who was divorced and living with his parents. He was diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor, a glioblastoma. Eric was quite bright and upbeat. He loved to play games and said that he played bridge. His parents played bridge and brought him to our weekly novice game. Our director took him under his wing and worked to teach him the game. When Eric’s condition deteriorated, Tony, our director, traveled to his home 45 minutes away to play any game
    Eric felt up to. This continued weekly until his death and virtually the entire club attended his funeral. Tony always said he had more fun than Eric, but as his nurse I knew how it lifted Eric’s spirits. Tony delayed achieving his life master’s to play with this young man. Thanks for easing his loneliness and for your unselfish gift of friendship!

    1. Work Hard. Be kind. Stay humble. To all the good people in this world like Tony who make a difference in someone's life. Thank you Valerie for sharing the story.

  9. How wonderful. My mother played bridge she did not share. That is a sad memory but I love reading yours. Thank you for your sharing

  10. What a moving story - I very much regret that I did not play with my mother earlier in life - we did bond & enjoyed precious moments

  11. My heartfelt sympathy. I wish my daughters would show an interest! I'm 82 now, so doubt it. However, I have found bbo friends from all over the world with whom I can chat and still enjoy this wonderful game that we play 💖

  12. This was a lovely story. I have decided to give my partner bridge lessons as his Christmas gift in the hope we might find this something we are able to enjoy as other things become difficult.

  13. Très belle histoire familiale, mais le bridge peut être aussi un lien puissant unissant au-delà des conditions sociales.

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