Unis à la table : la magie du bridge en équipe
J’adore le début de l’automne, le temps ralentit et on peut profiter d’ap...
I've played bridge my whole adult life. Sometimes I wonder who I would have been had I lived a parallel existence without bridge to shape my character all these years. Most of my friends are bridge players, most of my travels are for tournaments, most of my free time I spend in activities associated with bridge in one way or another, and even my professional interests are related to the psychology of games. Basically, my cat is the only important part of my life that is bridgeless, but even she was named after a bridge player. So, obviously I am influenced by bridge more than a regular player. However, I think that playing bridge affects us all, and that there are many valuable lessons we learn by playing bridge, that we can apply to our regular lives. In this article, I will discuss some of the beliefs that bridge can reinforce or enhance in people. I hope it will encourage you to share your thoughts on this topic.
Don’t discriminate.
Bridge tournaments have that special power to remove all the differences that exist among players except for the skill itself. If Mr. Doe is known to be the best player in the room, once the tournament starts we don't care less if he is 18 or 80, married or not, a lawyer or a scavenger, a Buddhist or a Christian. Age may be the most obvious, but it also applies to differences in social background, education, culture and so on. Therefore, we can find some very amusing partnerships or teams consisting of seemingly mismatched people who join together in the game. Bridge has taught me that people engaged in an all consuming activity will disregard the differences, and concentrate on what is important. Therefore, in work, or my private life, I am less concerned about how people who have nothing in common will function. I just try to make the task engaging and challenging, and so far I can confirm that once they really get involved, the differences become irrelevant.
Intelligence is multidimensional.
It’s amazing how regularly people who have been successful in business, academia or life in general, just can’t get passed intermediate level in bridge. On the other hand, you probably know players who struggle with the simplest of life challenges, but shine at the table. Bridge shows very clearly what cognitive scientists try to explain: intelligence consists of various domains, and one may excel in some, while being almost hopeless in others. I doubt there is a better example than bridge.
Perfection is overrated.
There are not many areas of human existence where one can experience one’s own incompetence, in such a blatant way as is possible at the bridge table. Bridge shows us how incredibly incapable we can be. If we take a lesson from this, we may become a bit less smug and understand and accept our own limitations. Moreover, we become aware that everyone can produce a blunder. In some areas of human existence it’s easy to find excuses and convince ourselves that we haven’t made that big a lapse, whereas in bridge our mistakes often stare at us unforgivingly without any camouflage whatsoever. Therefore by playing bridge we learn to acknowledge, admit and cope with being imperfect. Forgive yourself and apologize to the other(s).
Being risk averse can be risky.
A beginner will sometimes refuse to bid (e.g. overcall, preempt) because they “don’t want to risk”. Very soon, when opponents land at the best contract and/or partner fails to lead their suit they will realize that passing is at least as risky as bidding. In the same manner, people may be reluctant to invest, to change jobs, to leave a relationship, because taking this action may be risky. It is in human nature to believe that being passive and maintaining the status quo is safer than taking action. But, simple, every-day examples from the bridge table teach us that there is no safety in being passive.
(Although they teach you otherwise), luck matters.
When bridge teachers explain how bridge is more fair compared to other (card) games, they will stress that by duplication we manage to control the factor of luck. Aspiring students are often amazed by this newly discovered method and do not question it further. However, while for a beginner it may be a hook, any experienced player will know that luck plays an important, although sometimes disguised role in bridge. Getting a flat board against the weakest pair, getting away with a ridiculous bid or play, or discovering an unfortunate lie of cards when the contract seemed cold. Bridge teaches us that if we do our best we will profit in the long run, but there is no guarantee that it will work in any specific case. Understanding this will help in dealing with real life situations where we felt a sense of injustice and that we deserved better. Bridge teaches us to be skeptical about complete fairness in any life domain, and to appreciate an occasional stroke of luck.
Take one for the team (partner).
We were all in situations when partner or team-mates compensated for our mistakes, and when we did the same for them. Bridge teaches us to trust, to rely on others, to be responsible and to put the common goal in front of personal wishes. If you keep your partner happy you will be happy too. Playing competitive team bridge develops a team player mindset that is so needed and appreciated in both private and professional domains.
Live in the present.
Bridge is a fast game and every ten minutes or so we have to completely switch our thoughts and adjust to a new situation or challenge. Those who dwell on the past will not be able to focus on a current task. Whatever happens, you have to leave it behind, clear your mind and move onto the next board in order to survive. This mantra of many a life coach is brought into sharp focus in bridge, and is a valuable lesson to learn: you can’t change the past, so focus on the here and now.
Don’t give up, 20% is better than 0%.
On some boards we just don’t have a chance to make a decent result. We have to accept the fact that our opponents reached the best spot and the most we can hope for are a few matchpoints. But every board counts, and a handful of matchpoints might be all we need to win the tournament. So, when things don’t look bright, in both bridge and life, we have to accept that obstacles are part of life, and that on bad days (hands), even little increments count.
Analyze carefully.
In my opinion, there are three main techniques that need to be developed to play bridge reasonably well: visualization, judging possibility, and stepping into someone else’s shoes. Visualization involves imagining the various layouts possible during bidding and play, judging possibility is necessary to take the correct view of the hand and choose the best line, while stepping into partner’s and opponents’ shoes may answer the question of why they made a particular bid, or chose this card instead of another one. Carefully analyzing moves and thinking about motives gives us deeper insight into circumstances, and it is equally useful in real life as it is in bridge.
Don’t let negativity consume you.
There will be many occasions in bridge when you will have an urge to run away, fight or cry. I admit, bridge is quite good in provoking a spectrum of negative emotions. However, it helps you to learn to deal with such feelings, to recognize, shape and control them. Don’t let negativity overwhelm you, even if it seems everything is against you. Players who manage to stay calm after a bad board have an enormous advantage, in bridge and life, as you probably guessed.
There are so many things we can learn in bridge that apply to life, I think I could continue to write on this topic forever. In so many ways bridge reflects fairly the challenges, struggles, and relationships we encounter in ordinary life. Even if we do not put a particular effort into this knowledge transfer we may well spontaneously notice how bridge improved the way we think and behave. It is almost as if we have gained clear evidence of a general wisdom that most people are not entitled to.
So, lets hear your thoughts! What life lessons have you learned from playing bridge?
Tihana Brkljačić is a psychologist and a bridge player. She teaches psychology and bridge at Zagreb university. She represented Croatia at multiple European championships and at The World Championship (Wuhan cup) in 2022. As a psychologist, her main areas of interest are in quality of life, well-being and communication. Additionally, she studies the psychology of games (focusing on bridge in particular) and consults players on various topics.
Nice article. I was introduced to bridge as an exercise in self-observation, personal growth. The main point being neither winning, fun, nor socializing (although those all do happen)but learning about yourself. The bridge table being a microcosm of how we are in life relating to things like winning, losing, playing with better or worse players, habits, playing with a partner.
Thank you Tihana.
You are great Tihana. Thank you.
Tihana lives in bridge and it is very nice. However, I don't know if she knows one detail that I want to mention here. It is about her father who was also a great bridge player and a great man. Back in the seventies of the last century, that gentleman did an extraordinary thing. Thanks to his personal involvement and great help, the first bridge club was founded in Sarajevo, the capital of the then Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina, part of Yugoslavia. That club still exists today. Without his professional, moral and material help and the help of "his" Zagreb bridge club, this could not have been achieved. Mr. Miljenko Brkljacic was then unanimously elected as an honorary member of the Sarajevo Bridge Club. I would like to thank him once again.
delete
Very nice article! Regarding "analyze carefully", one might add "calculate probability" as this should inform your decision making. A fascinating question is whether to play for an over-trick when there is a high probability of success or to make a safety play to guarantee the contract. At IMP scoring, the over-trick brings little reward. At MP scoring, one needs to consider what is likely to be happening at other tables as failing to make the over-trick might result in a poor score.
I have told family, friends, and even my therapist about the life skills I have learned from playing bridge. For me, probably the most important is to give criticism in a kindly way and to accept it without becoming defensive. But bridge teaches patience, teamwork, understanding that no one is perfect, and to enjoy yourself even when things do not go your way.
I enjoy (rather falter) the battle for partscore -- glass half-empty or half-full?
Interesting!!
Interesting!!!
This analysis is brilliant. I often question myself and my club members : why do we spend so much time playing? Of course for the weak or average and passed 80 player it is ... an occupation and a social activity, especially for women often alone past a certain age. For others, including my modest self,
it is a challenge, but also an occupation and a social activity, now that I am retired.
My first husband (for 20 years, father of my children) started playing at 15 and never stopped. I think he spent more time playing bridge than with any other activity (work,sex etc...). he taught me the game when I was 21, I stopped shortly after our divorce because I decided it was too time consuming and I had better things to do. At 70, retired, I decided to play again, joined a club and guess what ... I play a turnament on BB0 with him at least once a week (we are french but he lives in Paris and I live in Lyon). I have made great progress and he gives m a free lesson without getting mad at my many faults.
My actual husband knows nothing about bridge. Of course we talk a little about it, but this article is of great help to explain to him and... to myself.
Merci
Paola
Somebody said, bridge is nearest to war (than anything else...)...Slowly but surely I started to believe it! Luckily no bodies here, looo
What I learned - unfortunately, most people don't understand the importance of "cooperation" - which is decisive in this game AND in life (and war!)
And also on BBO I learned which people (?) still hate which (on a historical basis, I guess) - and also how wonderful friendships can emerge, thousands of miles and ages away - with only a screen inbetween...
It is indeed the most fascinating game of mankind.
I've often wondered why Chess Clubs have been around for so long even in elementary schools and certainly in middle school and high school, as bridge also requires strategy and concentration. In addition, bridge requires that a player be able to understand and relate to a partner and teammates. For this reason, it seems to me to be the perfect game to introduce into all levels of education.
I have made some of my closest friends playing bridge -- which was at the top of my bucket list when I retired 17 years ago. It has been a wonderful addition to my life. In addition to keeping my mind well-oiled and agile, I have had to work hard with my partners -- how to gracefully leave a partnership, the need to own up to my mistakes, or to graciously accept the errors made by my partners. The celebration of wins is exhilarating, but the humility required when my partner and I lose, is equally important. These are lessons that are integral to bridge, but they apply more broadly to life.
There are so many important lessons built into the wonderful game of bridge! It has enriched my life more than I'd ever anticipated.
Please send me a soft copy of your article which I found fascinating. Well done. I would like to send it to my children. My email is tony.leibowitz@gmail.com
Copy and Paste worked for me 🙂
I share your sentiment completely! Bridge has a unique way of enriching our lives with unexpected lessons.
When I taught at a graduate business school, I started a bridge club. For a businessman who travels a lot, being able to play bridge can open doors to meeting people even more than being able to play golf. All you need to do is contact the bridge association wherever you are in the world and they will assist you in finding a partner. As bridge players tend to be friendly, helpful people interested in learning all about you, at least here in Bangkok, your circle of contacts can expand quickly.
I feel lucky that I got into chess first and bridge later. Chess is like arithmetic while bridge is like algebra. In chess, you learn only about yourself and dealing with problems. In bridge, you learn about another person and dealing with problems. And since everyone is different, that other person is a variable, as in algebra. In real life, it is nearly impossible to help others with life’s problems if you can’t help yourself first. But two good partners working together … watch out, World!!
50 years ago, while waiting for the Chess Club to start mid-way through the lunch break, I discovered the seniors at our high school were playing bridge. They introduced me to the game and, a few years later, I captained what was possibly the strongest school team in the country. For someone who thrives on competition, I found chess too demanding: you can spend hours concentrating in a chess match and then make a blunder that costs you the game. In contrast, you can win a bridge match even though your bidding and play are far from perfect. I gave both up for an academic career, trying my best to write research papers that were free from error.
I have spent lots of time playing board-games (including bridge) with my siblings. To me 'love','family' means playing 'games'--My mother let me play 'games' instead 'doing-dishes'../ My parenting includes playing 'checkers' with my children--I'll try to loose gracefully after 30-min..
Much more interesting than playing bridge itself.
😀 glad that you found the insights interesting!
Tried chess?
I do think that many of these life lessons can be learned partaking in many sports which is why sport is so important in life particularly growing up (which never stops).
Agree with you completely
Totally agree!
In sports or anything physical like exercise, the motto is “No pain, no gain.” The same is true with chess, except that the pain is mental, not physical. Mental as in “painful” learning. Meanwhile, bridge is not just like that in chess, but also emotional pain. Learning to control anger, criticism, and other negative emotional expressions as well as being outwardly humble, gracious, and kind to partner. Focus and concentration is needed, especially when playing as declarer, but learning to adapt to another’s personality can also be a difficult road to travel. Physical life is diet and exercise, mental life is learning and adapting.
Felicitaciones excelente nota y muy bien explicados los estados emocionales que nos produce el Bridge, muchas gracias me sirvio mucho.
Thanks for an insightful article!
Play the cards you are dealt. In daily life, make the most of the situation you are dealt that day. Make the most of luck going your way, and do damage-control to minimise your losses when luck isn't.
👏
Great perspective! Making the most of what life deals you is a valuable mindset.
Well said and I agree
Well, a couple of other lessons:
One, when everything looks perfect, anticipate what could go wrong, and protect against it happening. Applying this to life doesn't mean being negative, nor overly cautious. Just stay one step ahead.
Two, everything in life is relative. you are only as good, or as poor, as those who you decide to compete against : the brightest player in your club would almost certainly be considered a turkey in other circles, particularly if he/she shows signs of being rude or overly confident. Or both 🙂
Yep, anticipating is crucial, and preparation is key, no matter who you're up against. It all builds confidence, a crucial factor in navigating through challenges.
A key project management strategy: prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
“when everything looks perfect, anticipate what could go wrong”
This reminds me of one of my first lessons in bridge.
And the corollary rule is “when everything looks hopeless, look for the one improbable lay of the cards that could allow you to make the contract and try for it.” In other words, don’t give up. Pray for a miracle. It might happen. What have you got to lose? You’re already in a hopeless situation.
Humility and understanding. My partner is not an idiot: he/she has a reason for bidding/playing in a particular way. It may be wrong, or it may be spectacularly right - accept the outcome either way.
Remember, partner is going through similar thought processes to you. Perhaps it is you that is getting it wrong.
Don't cheat; especially playing online
Explain "Cheating on Line"
Whatsapping your partner!!
The importance of balance and relaxation at the table. If I get too tense it inhibits thinking and visualisation, and it is important to not to dwell on bad boards, because if you do you will miss opportunities or make more errors. The very best players I have met have an aura of calmness and don't say much, as they don't want anything to distract them from the task in hand.
patience with my partners, seeing there are more ways to do things than "MY" way
Bridge has taught me patience and politeness.
Bridge really is full of good life lessons! Fabulous.
Tihana Brkljačić is perfectly correct in everything she has said provided the number one motivation of a player is to win at bridge. However, I have witnessed that with most local players in my area, winning is a secondary motivation.
The number one motivation I see is “fun” or “enjoyment” or whatever that means to each individual. Of course, winning is fun and enjoyable for nearly everyone, but working hard to be good is not always fun to people. Learning, studying, perfecting one’s technique, etc. is actually enjoyable fun for the rare few.
Another aspect of “fun” involves partner. While nearly every player would feel honored to partner with the best, they may also feel so uncomfortable that they would rather not do it again. Or, they may simply not like or get along with that person. But bridge is a partnership game and no matter how good one can become as an individual player, if they cannot have good partners (equal or better than themselves), then they will never be successful winners at bridge. And as Tihana pointed out, not prejudging anyone until after partnering with them is a simple yet essential requirement towards learning the skills to become a good and popular partner.
From my own observations, I do not see my top local player as having the best technique or analytical ability in the state, but he is one of the top in that area. Where he excels is in the intangible partnership skills. Friendly yet businesslike, always prepared every game in every way including health, sleep, rest, besides bridge preparation, and just about never discourteous to anyone including opponents as well as partners. (I think I am the only one to make him lose his cool. I am socially inept that way. And he ended up losing his temper at someone else when they did the same thing I did. Come unprepared regarding our convention card agreements.)
Meanwhile, the few players who were actually more skilled in technique and analytical abilities were unable to get good partners like he did. He would play with all the top players while most of the other top players wouldn’t play with each other. As a result, he had 2-4 times more masterpoints than those “more skilled” players because he had partnership skills and they didn’t.
I repeat, bridge is a partnership game, not like chess and most other games.
I have discovered that most players at the local club levels up to maybe Sectionals play bridge to get out, socialize, have fun, and try to win, but winning isn’t everything or even the main thing.
As for me, winning at bridge has never been my first motivation. Nor has it ever been making friends or enjoying myself socially. It has and always will be following my lifelong dreams of seeing perfection. I never want to LIVE in perfection, but I always want to see, view, and taste a little of it just to know what it is like. I prefer the human race to live in perfection, or a perfect “world”, instead of me. But I enjoy the idea helping humans get there. (Btw, there are as many perfect utopias as there are individual people on Earth.) My life motto has always been “shoot for the stars, settle for the moon.”
Since achieving my dream means first learning, then theorizing, then experimenting on my hypothesis, and then going on to the next level of learning, hypothesis, theory and so on and on, then this means that at first, winning is important for me. Why? Simply because successful outcomes vindicate a successful theory which points me in the right direction for further learning.
But now I am to the point of “retirement” from bridge just like I did with chess decades ago. I still play chess and will still play bridge, but I am moving on to other things for my main study. I have only one more thing left in bridge that I wish to do. Finish completion of my “perfect” bidding system. Well, perfect until someone else comes up with new ideas, lol!
“Another aspect of “fun” involves partner.”
I forgot to mention. Most people will choose a partner that they enjoy playing with no matter how good they are than one that is “better”. First of all, if they have a disagreeable partner, that partner will bring out the worst in them meaning a poor result anyway. Secondly, the partner who is “better” will probably end up talking about bridge concepts that the person has no idea what they’re talking about. Useless and unappetizing waste of time. However, things become the opposite when the better player praises that person or at least overlooks all the mistakes made. Trouble is, this means those mistakes will be repeated over and over and no learning is accomplished. But as I said, most people prefer that to learning. Only a few, rare people see learning as an enjoyable thing.
Meanwhile, for those that don’t see value in learning, they prefer to rely on luck. And one time in 20+ years of bridge, I saw such luck occur. The reputed lowest pair won over everyone else. Literally like winning the lottery for them. Luck can happen once in awhile. Just have to keep trying for 20 or so years and you might win one …
My biggest problem playing BBO is dealing with those who seem to delight in criticizing others. Thank God there are enough players that I can just move to another table.
I get it. Dealing with criticism can be tough, yes..
Thanks for many good thoughts I do agree in many point of views. Love from Marianne, a beginner
Glad that you like it, Marianne. 🙂
This comment makes the article worthwhile. Thank you, Anonymous.
👍👍
Somebody said, bridge is nearest to war (than anything else...)...Slowly but surely I started to believe it! Luckily no bodies here, looo
What I learned - unfortunately, most people don't understand the importance of "cooperation" - which is decisive in this game AND in life (and war!)
And also on BBO I learned which people (?) still hate which (on a historical basis, I guess) - and also how wonderful friendships can emerge, thousands of miles and ages away - with only a screen inbetween...
It is indeed the most fascinating game of mankind.
What bridge to cross what bridge to burn and what bridge to born of growing and make it clear till the end of closing at locking war. To fine who must live and loved and who must be in hatred.at end. We finde us!