Les bonnes manières du bridge en ligne - Partie 1 : Bienveillance, clarté et tempo
Il m’arrive régulièrement de discuter avec mes élèves de leurs progrès au...
Every now and then, I have a conversation with my students about how their bridge development is progressing outside of our lessons. Unsurprisingly, many of them spend a lot of time on BBO. They love the convenience, the variety, and the chance to play and learn at any hour of the day. Most of the time, it’s an enjoyable and productive experience. But now and then, they come back disheartened—often not because of the game per say, but because of how others behaved at the table.
It’s important to remember: in most cases, people aren’t trying to be rude or unpleasant. Sometimes, small things—misunderstandings, mismatched expectations, or lack of communication—can affect the mood of a game. So here are a few simple habits we can all adopt to make online bridge friendlier and more enjoyable for everyone.
Let’s begin with partnerships. If you’re someone who enjoys hopping into casual games and getting seated with whoever’s available, it’s best to keep things simple. Complex bidding systems may be brilliant with your regular partner— but for a casual online game with someone you've never played with, they’re more likely to confuse than impress. Stick to standard BBO convention cards or basic, clearly described methods in your profile. Your partner might only be familiar with Standard American, for instance, and if your methods differ wildly, it’s helpful for them to spot that early and find another table if needed.
A short, clear system summary is often enough: things like major suit length, notrump strength, 2-level openings, defense to 1NT, and slam tools (and if you play RKCB, do specify 3041 or 4130) will be fine. The fewer special agreements, the better your chances of finding harmony with a stranger.
After you’re all set at the virtual table and play commences, avoid advising partner or opponents on a bid or play. This of course is basic for a face-to-face game too, but even more important when you partner a stranger. Within regular partnerships, people get used to the occasional criticism, but its not acceptable at all to do it to a random player who fills their free time with a BBO game. Everyone makes mistakes, but they should be able to get on with the next board with a positive mindset. At the end of the day the purpose of a "pop in" game on BBO is enjoyment and criticism spoils this.
When it comes to praise , be careful – and save it for when they do something impressive. Congratulating someone on cashing 9 top tricks in 3NT is unnecessary and condescending. A "Well done partner" comment, when a contract made only because of a misdefense might be upsetting for your opponents. A "Bad luck, partner" remark, when the failure originated from a bad play, won't necessarily make a player feel better and might create a distraction.
I know that players have been known to leave the table mid-game after a disagreement or mistake. While that’s technically possible online, it wouldn’t happen in a club setting—and it’s not good bridge etiquette. If you really must leave, be courteous. Say goodbye, thank your partner, and wish everyone a good game. A quick message makes a big difference.
Don't forget to self-alert and explain bids that may be misinterpreted by your opponents. Keep an eye on the chat and explanation box for any questions addressed to you. The meaning of your bids might not be obvious to the other side and your game will progress much more smoothly if you give concise and timely explanations. If you’re the one who’s hoping for clarification, but get no response, it’s better to send a private message than type a question using the table chat to prevent your partner getting UI (unauthorized information). In the majority of cases this will have no impact, but it’s best to avoid the situation.
Tempo is also important. A thoughtful pause is absolutely fine, and no one will begrudge a bit of time to create a plan — but try not to drag things out unnecessarily. A lot of people get bored of defending, so if you are declaring, don't take more than 5 minutes to play the hand. If you’ve been delayed by something outside your control—a doorbell, an oven, a family interruption—just say so. A quick “sorry, was distracted for a minute” keeps everyone happy.
When it comes to claiming, clarity is key. Try to claim only when the outcome is obvious (e.g., all winners in one hand), or take a moment to type your plan of play. Saying something along the lines of “ruffing my diamond loser in dummy” would clear up any confusion. It may seem faster to claim, but if opponents aren’t sure of your logic, they may reject—and that’s where delays begin. If you don't find it easy to work out that a claimant definitely has the claimed tricks, it's best to reject the claim immediately than after a minute or two. Just add a courteous note to say something like, "Sorry, I’m a bit slow to work out the ending, we'll be quicker to just play on."
Online bridge gives us a wonderful way to keep playing, learning, and connecting with others. But unlike a club game, there’s no eye contact, body language, or natural flow of conversation—so every written word and every small gesture matters more.
That said, if you like social bridge, you can play using video chat with BBO+. It allows you to see and talk to your partner and opponents, just like you would in a club game. It’s a great way to recapture the human connection that makes bridge so special, especially when playing with friends or regular partners.
Of course, the same principles of kindness and courtesy apply—perhaps even more so when you're looking your fellow players in the eye! Whether you're typing in chat or talking over video, a friendly, respectful attitude helps create a positive table atmosphere for everyone.
With a bit of thoughtfulness, and the right tools, we can all make online bridge a better, warmer, and more welcoming space—for ourselves and for others.
About the author
Nevena is a multiple World and European champion, having played for Bulgaria, Great Britain and England. She teaches bridge to all levels, both face to face and online.
Well, this prompts me to comment because I've just had an exchange with BBO support which I think points to a shortcoming with BBO. Occasionally you get a kibitzer whose behaviour is objectionable, not bad enough to prompt a complaint to abuse@ but enough so that you don't want them at the table. It's been confirmed to me that there is no way for a table host to selectively remove a single kibitzer. You either have to put up with rude behaviour, or you have to remove EVERY kibitzer at the table. This is something which I think BBO should address in a forthcoming release.
Did you mean 1430?
Very good advice. However, there seems no system in place to deal with players who are repeatedly obnoxious, flouting all the very sensible etiquette described above. You can report, but absolutely nothing happens. The only recourse is to "ignore" the offending party--which is fine for the ignorer, but does nothing to protect other players. There is lots of extremely unpleasant behaviour on BBO and BBO needs to do something about it!
Thank you for the tips and suggestions.
I find your comments extremely useful.
Please continue.
Thank you. All very useful tips.
Nice well worded .All bridge player should read this simple etiquette
Timely and cogent. Suggesting a better course of action is preferable to a critical comment without explanation.
This is a wonderful column. It hits on most of my peeves when playing on BBO (particularly the undeserved congratulatory remark). The only thing l would have like to have seen is a comment about not playing anonymously; something that would never be allowed F2F.
This is very useful - a terrific article!
Thank you for that helpful and diplomatic message. Especially your reference to playing at an acceptable tempo. I love BBO but quite often leave the game because it is painfully slow. Nearly always saying 'thank you and bye'.
I have noticed quite a few players do not have the good manners to say 'hello' when joining the table, It's what pleasant players ALWAYS do.
I have made it a policy NEVERE to criticise my partner, sadly it's not always reciprocated.
Finally, players who leave table during play and go to another table. BAD bridge etiquette.
Thank you for the article. It is so important to understand these basics and apply them.
Before "etiquette", which is very important, BBO should revise it "hands amnipulation" policies which lately got completely out of hand, bringing a huge deservice to the bridge community, specially to those trying to learn this great game.
By SYSTEMATICLY AND CONSTANTLY showing distributions that have nothing to do with mathematics and statisctics BBO is distorting the minds of young players and FRUSTRATES US, THE VETERANS.
This is a great, team and gentlemen game BBO makes it a joke, like they have a pleasure frustrating us, their customers.
STOP MANIPULATING HANDS BOO!
LET THE RNG DEAL RANDOM HANDS!
Very useful comments. Thank you
As usual marvellous advice! Thank you Navena.
We miss you in Nottingham. Would you please come and have a game with me at the club?
I’m sick …
when your partner has no profile and makes strange bids, I feel frustrated and the private statement tells me nothing. At the end of the hand I want to remove my partner but was told I cannot. How can I remove my partner? Otherwise, I just leave the site.
Very nice advice for on line players, courtesy is appreciated and makes for a pleasant game.
Excellent
Thank you for your thoughtful advise.
I am 87 years old and agree with Nirvana. I have been playing bridge for nearly 60 years ever since I married and wanted something to do with my (late) wife that we could enjoy together. I've played in clubs, charity matches and bridge circles but nowadays I find BBO CASUAL is far the most interesting. You can play for half an hour or one, two or even three hours 24 hours per day with partners from all over the world and jump out of games if you don't get on with partner but there are too many people who are not experienced enough and do not indicate the conventions they play which can be very annoying. I would like to suggest that in order to play Casual Bridge (Take me to the next available table) EVERYBODY plays the same fairly simple conventions - chosen by the powers that be. I think Standard American, with Strong NT (15-18), Stayman, Blackwood and transfers is enough though I found Key Card Roman Blackwood very useful as well as "rule of 20" when opening with under 12 points (no. of points in hand plus no. of cards in first suit plus no. of cards in second suit equals 20 +. Opening threes and twos in the majors and diamonds are weak, 2clubs is 23+. I am sure everybody would enjoy the game better and play faster and we won't have people showing PRIVATE against "Skill level" on their profile. English is the normally recognised bridge language so no more Japanese, Hebrew, Italian etc please.
I look forward to hearing from you as to how to put this into practice.
So well said. I wish I get a regular partner as I play mostly on line. If one gets a regular partner the game is more enjoyable.
Well said! One thing I find most irritating is when a host kicks you off when he/she doesn't like your play. I believe the host should rather excuse himself and find another table.
I agree. It’s hurtful to a beginner/intermediate player to be criticized and kicked off the table. Why is it so all fired important to belittle others. I don’t get it.
thx 4 the nice words
What a great lesson in how to behave at the table, which is where I play almost all of my bridge since the Pandemic! Thank you Nevena.
I would like a few ! lessons, many might say a lot! Any idea how I access them?k
Very clear!Proficiat for this clear explanation!
Giny1
That's a great article
I hope all BBO players read it. What puts me off playing on BBO is the rude comments and worse still the host removing you from the game without a reason
Yes I agree