I guess most of you play online bridge quite regularly. It has many advantages since you can play at any time you want, you don’t have to leave your home, and you can always find someone to play with—so no prearrangements are required. However, online bridge sometimes lacks an important component—social contact.

During live games, we constantly interact with other players, and even if we do not talk, there is a wealth of non-verbal clues we rely on to form impressions about others. We continuously assess their qualities and try to get closer to those we find interesting or feel a connection with. We might like someone’s smile, the way they behave towards their partner, their confidence and enthusiasm, or even just the way they dress. It’s easy to start an informal conversation and make friends when you can sit for a coffee together.

However, this automatic process of socialization is so much harder in an online bridge setting. We often play online with people we know (almost) nothing about. Their identity for us is their BBO username, but we don’t know who they actually are. Of course, it can work like that, but if I’m interacting with someone regularly, I would prefer to know a bit about them: What do they do besides playing bridge? Where do they live? What’s their taste in music? Do they have a pet? What makes them happy? What color are their eyes? I’d like to have a face behind the BBO username and something to think about when the message “Kooinnjz has just logged into BBO” pops up.

Many BBO tournament hosts do a nice job by adding human elements into their club games. They greet members, celebrate their birthdays, and post links to songs for example. Nice, but still not like the real club experience.

So, do you create meaningful connections with those you often meet on BBO? Do you know a bit about their real lives? Do you care?

I believe that many players who regularly meet at virtual tables would like to get to know each other better, but the whole setting just doesn’t seem appropriate. It’s almost an unspoken rule that everyone should mind their own business and not let reality interfere with the virtual world. Even sending a well meaning message like, “How was your day?” may feel awkward.

While some may prefer this incognito mode, I am confident that I’m not the only one who would enjoy connecting with others in a more intimate manner than just reading their convention card. Can we do anything about it?

As December is a month of gatherings, reunions, and socializing, it’s only appropriate to have a little celebration with your bridge friends too. Many bridge clubs around the globe throw Christmas parties, and of course, many players invite their friends for casual games at their homes. So, it’s not awkward at all to arrange a little party yourself. The holiday season is a perfect time to renew old friendships and get closer to acquaintances you meet during online sessions—some of those you’ve marked as “friends” but don’t actually know much about.

For hosting an online bridge party (as opposed to just a bridge game), you will need, besides BBO, some video-link application that enables communication for a group of people – or you could use BBO+ if you’re a subscriber. The idea is to have cameras and microphones switched on all the time to create a similar experience to an in-person bridge gathering.

Here’s my checklist that you can use to take an online bridge session to the next level and organize an online bridge party that’s at least as enjoyable as a face-to-face event:

1. Decide who to invite. I suggest starting with a small party—one table—you and three other players. These should be players you’ve met online and would like to get to know better.
2. Set the time (day and hour). If players are in different time zones, make sure the time is convenient for everyone.
3. Choose a dress code. It’s your party, so anything from black tie to pajamas is acceptable. You could organize a black-tie party, a themed party, or anything else that comes to mind. I believe anything is better than nothing 😊, as following a dress code helps people think about the party in advance, prepare for it, and look forward to it.
4. Decide on the venue. BBO is probably the best option since everyone is familiar with it and it’s simple and user-friendly. However, since it’s a party and not just a bridge session, you’ll want to see and chat with the other players. If you’re a BBO+ subscriber, you can set up tables in the BBO+ Lounge with video and voice transmission, so you won’t need Skype or Zoom. If you’re not a subscriber, you could take advantage of the 15-day free trial to try it out before the party and see how it works.
5. Send invitations. Put effort into creating attractive invitations, just as you would for a live event. Inform your guests that they will need a camera and microphone. Send invitations at least 10 days in advance and request confirmation within 2–3 days, so you have time to invite others if someone can’t join.
6. Prepare snacks. Food is an important part of every social gathering. In my opinion, snacks should be the responsibility of the host. Thanks to online food delivery services, this shouldn’t be a problem. It’s even possible to order snacks for someone on the other side of the world. I recently ordered soup for a friend in Australia—and I live in Croatia! You could order from a grocery store (e.g., crackers, cookies, Coke), a coffee shop, or a restaurant (e.g., pizza). All you need is their address and any special dietary requirements (e.g., vegan, gluten-free). Surprise snacks can be an excellent conversation starter! 😊
7. Choose music. Thanks to video-audio meetings, you can play music from your computer for everyone to enjoy. Prepare a playlist in advance. Instrumental background music won’t disrupt the conversation, but some cheerful holiday songs can emphasize the festive mood.
8. Select the format. You have two options: casual bridge with ongoing chatting or dividing the party into bridge and non-bridge segments. The casual format will likely involve slow play and lots of laughter, while the structured format can include playing a set number of hands, followed by a meal and conversation, and then more bridge if desired.
9. Break the ice. When all participants join the party, the conversation will probably start naturally. If not, you can share a funny story, ask about their day, or even introduce them to your family or pets. If you don’t know your guests well, introduce yourself and encourage them to do the same.
10. Capture the moment. Don’t forget to take a photo or screenshot of everyone and share it afterward.

The advantages of an online bridge party include inviting people from around the world and accommodating those who hesitate to leave their homes. You also don’t have to clean up afterward, and smokers can smoke without affecting others. Most importantly, these gatherings can strengthen bonds among participants.

We are lucky that our favorite activity translates so easily to the virtual world. Imagine if, instead of bridge, we were into dance or golf—it would be impossible! Therefore, we owe it to bridge to show that it can foster meaningful social connections, even online. After all, bridge is about people.

About the author

Tihana Brkljačić is a psychologist and a bridge player. She teaches psychology and bridge at Zagreb university. She represented Croatia at multiple European championships and at The World Championship (Wuhan cup) in 2022. As a psychologist, her main areas of interest are in quality of life, well-being and communication. Additionally, she studies the psychology of games (focusing on bridge in particular) and consults players on various topics.