From Sofia to Gainesville, Florida
A story by Dimitri Bourilkov (BBO: 7ntvulxxx) Dimitri Bourilkov, Gold Life Maste...
I started my bridge journey in December 2022 with a mix of curiosity and cluelessness. I soon enough discovered that bridge has its unique sense of mood and strange moments that only fellow players can really relate to. I like to call them moments of "WTB"—What The Bridge.
I can't be the only one, can I? Do others also go through these weird, quirky, and unexplainable moments during games?
When I signed up for BBO, I felt pretty upbeat, thinking I was ready to take on real-life opponents. As a result, for nearly six months, I only played against GIBs. The bots were ideal—at least that's what I thought, but hindsight is 20/20, right? No judgment, no smirks, and they didn't care when I made beginner mistakes. It was friendly, but no one said wdp, gtp, or wth!
Fast forward a few months, and after summoning the courage to join an in-person game, it felt like I was entering a secret society. There were three women in the room: one was a TD, another was playing, and then there was me, trying not to hyperventilate.
After a few months more, as I played (not kibitzed) in the game, the players couldn't resist some good-natured teasing (harmless as you know). "Wow, people with a lower score than mine exist?" one player joked. Another added, "Oh great, now our scores might finally improve!"
It soon became clear to me that Bridge players have a unique sense of humour and temperament. Like there’s always that one player at the table—you know them. They have been playing since bridge was invented and have zero patience for beginners. One wrong move, and they give you the look as if you’ve offended their ancestry by merely existing at that moment.
If that player is reading this, let me share what’s really inconsiderate at the bridge table.
Sighing every time I make a bid. Yeah, I get it—I’m ruining your game. But have you considered it is our game? Also, ever thought of the possibility that while I am ruining "your" game, I’m also trying to figure out whether to bid two hearts or hide under the table?
And I won’t even get started on those players who slap their cards down like they’re serving a court summons instead of playing bridge. Real confidence booster:]
Anyhow, despite the banter, I have met some genuinely kind players who guided me along the way. One sweet opponent, after winning a contract, simply said, “We just took our tricks.” My heart melted—what a gracious way to say, “We crushed you.” (No, she didn't mean it, she's very kind.)
But I’m learning, slowly but surely. Who knows, one day, I’ll be the one giving the side-eye to the newbie at my table—after all, it’s the circle of life or at least the circle of bridge embarrassment. (Just kidding-I will never do this If I remember)
The reality is that like everyone else in the community, I am trying. I've been learning Bridge as if I'm preparing for a PhD in "How Not to Look Like an Idiot at the Table," rather than "How to Bid and Play Like a Player of my level." I've put my heart and soul (and more than a few tears) into learning bridge. I thought it would be all fun and games, but well.. Bridge is a blend of strategy, math, psychology, and a hint of sorcery, it seems. I've spent hours practising, reading, and watching tutorials that made it seem easy. But the moment I sit down, my brain seems to go on vacation. Well, not always.
One of the major reasons that makes it easier for me to go back to the game every day is my non-judgemental partner, Susan, who lives in Seattle—12 hours earlier than me in Karachi (and 11 896 km away!). I'm a night owl, so we've managed to make our transcontinental partnership work. While she's starting her day with coffee, I'm ending mine with Bridge. It's like clockwork.
As I approach almost two years in this exciting bridge journey, I'm still learning, laughing, and (maybe) even getting a little better at the game. At least now, I can proudly say, "I've mastered the art of losing gracefully—to both bots and humans!"
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I was playing in the Gold Cup against team from London. I was South. West opened 1NT, East bid 2C which was alerted. At the end of the bidding (can't remember the final contract- it was at least 40 years ago), I asked what the 2C bid meant. With a smile West turned to me and said 'Sharples'. Was I embarrassed? I was playing against the Sharples brothers!
Monday afternoons 😬BBO. As my worst point count of 12-14 1Nt, I cringe perhaps I’ve got 3 aces and a queen!!! Must bid !!! Oh definitely my partner would have said !!!What do I do !!depends 🤔on really that feeling inside me!! And when I go crashing down!! Stupid why didn’t you pass.responses please 😬
I feel your pain, Jean!
The dreaded 12-14 1NT range and the internal debate all too well—do I bid or pass? And of course, when things go south, its so easy to second-guess. But hey, we are all learning, right? Crashing down is just part of the journey. Lets keep going—we've got this!
Aisha .
I loved your story .
I also started playing in Karachi many years ago .
The next time u get the slapped down court summons ..
Pl say my friend and fellow karachiite told me to bid like this .
If they ask your friends name .
It is Zia .
Best of luck 😉😉🥇
Zia, I love the idea of dropping your name at the table next time—I'm sure that will get me out of trouble!
I'll carry your bidding advice and give it my best shot. Thank you —here's hoping for better bids ahead!
Un racconto che rivive in ogni principiante, quei gesti e quegli sguardi di superba incredulità scoraggiandine la prosecuzione ma per fortuna, esistono gli angeli, quelli che rendono Nobile anche il tuo errore e che ti fanno apprezzare la bellezza di questo GRANDE gioco che è il BRIDGE.
I appreciate your insightful comment and that the story resonated with you.
Here's to the love of the game!
Your words are so relatable as I am, too, a newbie at bridge. I recall the fear of playing for the first time on BBO with a stranger. I tried to remember all the point ranges and conventions and even had cheat sheets at my side. It's a wonderfully challenging game and I keep trying to get better and better at it in spite of that silly thing called age that makes me work even harder. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I understand the initial fear, and like you, I've relied on cheat sheets and sticky notes with leads and ranges as I go. The beauty of bridge is that it continues to push us, regardless of level or experience, and that constant learning is what makes it look so nerdy :p
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story. I really enjoyed reading it for the humour but also for the connection I made to my experience learning the game. I'm only a month in but like you have been giving it my all by reading, practicing and talking bridge!I too have had positive and negative reactions to my play. I have found it very similar to learning other sports. You're always going to meet supporters and those who feel it's above them to teach beginners. I've found you have to develop a thick skin to make it through 😊
Thank you Victoria. I completely agree—just like in any other sports, one may encounter both encouragers and critics, bridge also demands building that thick skin to keep pushing forward.
Good luck.
Sorry, that darn autocorrect snuck in there and changed a couple things in my message. ... Treating [everyone] with respect. And .... hope that your good experiences [outnumber] your bad ones. All the best to you!
Aisha,
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it immensely. I truly wish that people would stop just giving lip service to bad behavior. I mean really what's so hard about treating every with respect. Here's to hoping that your good experiences out under your bad ones. Welcome to the world of bridge!
Thanks for your thoughts!
Respect is crucial in every interaction, especially in a game focused on partnership and skill. It's sad when rude behaviour hinders the learning, but let's hope positive experiences prevail.
Thanks and best of luck on your journey too!
Great story. Thank you! And I recognise the court summons. Arrogance. Good luck Aisha!
Thank you Paul, I agree, arrogance can certainly make its presence felt in the game.
I haven't found the courage to play with people. Bridge is a partnership game and I haven't found a partner willing to study and become more proficient in bridge.
I understand it can be hard to find the right partner who shares the same commitment to learning. Im sure you’ll soon find someone who’s just as passionate:)
Hi Aisha I know exactly where you are coming from.I have only been playing Bridge for 17 months and it grips me.I am constantly beating myself up if I make a mistake but that just drives me to do better.Keep your chin up Hun,we WILL get there.
Thank you, Richard, for your kind words and encouragement! Its comforting to know Im not alone in feeling that drive to improve after making mistakes. Bridge can be tough on our confidence, but like you said, we WILL get there.
Good luck,
Loved your story with a smile. Yes, we've all been there. An acquaintance who played international bridge was told one night that she should consider taking bridge lessons! 😉
Thank you, Alfreda! The anecdote is relatable—its funny how bridge has a way of keeping us all on our toes, no matter the player's level!
Thank you so much for your article! This is exactly how I feel right now as a new player. Helps to know that others have experienced this. And, also reminds those experienced players to be gentle on us newbies.
Thank you so much, Tracie!
Im glad the article resonated with you, especially as a new player. Were all in this learning cycle together, and yes, a little kindness from experienced players goes a long way. Best of luck!
Aisha,
You’ll grow into understanding this. I remember the first time I planned and executed a squeeze. Partner and I bid to a small slam. I had two losers and looked at squeeze chances. They were good. My left hand opponent had bid. All I needed to do was rectify the count and run off my winners. I ducked a trick in a side suit, and the squeeze worked just as I expected, slam bid ad made for a matchpoint zero.
Other declarers took a (winning) finesse in the suit where I ducked a trick. That winning finesse rectified the count for an automatic squeeze for all thirteen tricks. Cashing twelve winners squeezed LHO for thirteen winners whether the declarers knew what they were doing or not.
The more you learn about this game, the more sophisticated (and sometimes more spectacular) your mistakes will be. A few years ago, Eric Rodwell described himself as an “improving player.” We all have “room for improvement.”
Brian, I am grateful to you for sharing your experience and wisdom. I can only imagine the sense of achievement that comes from pulling off such refined plays! Your insight into how mistakes evolve as we grow is spot on. I cant wait to making some impressive ones myself as I keep bridging!
Thank you Aisha for your story. I have experienced many of the same backhanded compliments, sighs, and excellent mentors on my journey to being a better player.
Thank you for sharing! It's great to know that I'm not alone in facing bridge world. Balancing the two makes this a powerful learning experience.
Best of luck.
Thank you for this delightful article! I just started to learn Bridge, (which I find incredibly exciting and mystifying) this past summer, and appreciate your insights and experience. Any and all kindnesses shown to a total novice are greatly appreciated :>)
Thank you for acknowledging the struggle 🙂
Yep, I am right there with you!
I see you!
As my friends and partners are all like me - old and decrepit - we now only play on line and players seem to think that they may type a message at the bottom of the screen absolutely slaughtering both their partners and opponents. My only wish is that they would behave on line as they would at a Club. But otherwise we have now shared games on line for some five years. Yes, we miss the community spirit but it beats going out in the rain and snow - especially when you have to use a stroller to get there!
Thanks, Bob, for your thoughtful comment. It's disappointing when online behaviour doesn't match in-person etiquette, but it's great that you and your friends have kept your bridge community alive online.
Good luck.
Thank you for sharing. Your story resonated with me completely. I'm 1 1/2 years in the making of a bridge player. I'm still playing with the bots, so your story may be giving me the confidence to venture into the game with "real" people (still don't understand the acronyms! LOL). Lovely story.
Thank you, Joan! Its great to hear that the article has inspired you to take that next step. The bots are a great way to start, but Im sure youll enjoy playing with real people, even if the acronyms take a while to get used to:]
Best of luck!
Hi Aisha,
Your sound sense of humour does surely help in this "jungle"
so I am sure you will make it one day! Looks like one needs at least 5 years to comprehend what this game is about, so..
I taught myself most of the tricks - no one will disclose them to you just like that - smile!And the internet site of Richard Pavlicek, with good meant advice, helped me a lot!
Just try it - wish you gallons of luck & don't give up...
Thank you Oschi for your encouraging words.Bridge is indeed a game of patience and learning, and I appreciate the tip about Richard Pavlicek's site. I'll definitely check it out. Thank you again!
Perfectly encapsulates what I feel when I play face to face. I hyperventilate sometimes and at other times my brain goes on vacation but Bridge is a great game and I am determined to become better. I am in the novice category at present. Btw, some of my friends were great players when I lived in Karachi some years ago.
Thanks, Shameem! I totally relate to those moments of hyperventilation. Bridge can be quite the adrenaline rush. Playing with friends in Karachi must have been super fun.
Wishing you the best.
What a fabulous story. Very heart warming and encouraging. I have only been learning for 12 months but love it. I can spot some of those players who would have me hiding under the table too.....you have to be made of steely stuff to keep going. Majority of people are lovely, encouraging and welcome questions. I can't ever imagine not playing now.....just need to hold my nerves to progress!
Hope you continue to have a fab bridge journey and thank you for sharing your experiences to date. X
I'm glad the story resonated with you. It's wonderful to hear that you've found the courage to keep going, even when it gets tough. The support from the bridge community is priceless. Good luck.
Dear Fellow Bridgie.
I loved your story. Ihave now been playing 30 yrs and your observations brought all the memories back Good and bad ones I have now played in many countries and have found good and bad manners are universal. Never ceases to amaze how identical people en masse follow a pattern.
Some rude some superior some easy going just there to have a nice card game some have to always instruct some hog the contract no matter the cost some charming some grumpy and then people just like you and me.
Thanks, Lorraine! It's great to hear from someone with 30 years of bridge experience. Your description of the different types of players is spot on. Thanks again for your insight.
Gerçek tên çok dostça oynanan oyun zaman dilimi içersınde sıtresten tamamiyle uzaklaşmak deyişik bîr duygu.
I agree. Its a whole different mental faculty involved :]
What a lovely honest article. There are all sorts to be found at the bridge table! We are all trying our best. Friendliness costs nothing at the start of the game. And politeness for the rest. Good luck on your journey!
Thank you, Sue! You're very right—there's a wide range of temperaments at the bridge table, and being friendly can truly make all the difference. I wish you the best of luck on your own bridge journey!
Enjoyed the article
:]
What a great article about your experience in entering the bridge world!
I have played as your opponent and as your partner on BBO few times, and found you very well mannered, most respectful to your partner as well as your opponents, and a pleasant person with a sincere desire to master the game.
You persisted in your goal and, within a short time, you have become an above average smart bridge player with a great potential to be star soon in sha Allah.
I wish you all the best dear bridge player and a great human being.
Mat Allah SWT bless you and your family. Aameen.
Azam, thank you for your kind words! It's been a delight playing alongside you on BBO, and I truly appreciate your support. I'm honoured by your confidence in my progress. May Allah SWT bless you and your family as well. Aameen!