Recently Facebook started making suggestions for me to join various Dull Women's Clubs. If you're not familiar with this concept as I wasn’t a year ago, these are online groups where women exchange experiences about their ordinary lives, without the intention of presenting themselves as exciting. I was a bit offended at first. Why would AI think I was dull when I lead such an interesting and exciting life? I mean, I am 51, I have a cat, I cook and bake, I teach, and above all I play bridge!  Adventure is my second name. My nieces say I am slay!

On further inspection, and after going through a few dull women posts I realized that they mostly share their daily routines, recipes, photos of pets, and similar. Much to my surprise I noticed that I find their stories about gardening, cooking and creative work appealing, and that I, very much fit into this idea of dull living. If it wasn’t for bridge. Oh, I am sure that ignorant laymen would argue that playing bridge fits well into a dull woman daily routine. From the outside, it certainly seems like a senior citizen activity, a way to spend time once physical activities become too challenging, and there aren’t many other things to do.

The opposite of dullness is excitement. Excitement and dullness are probably more of an attitude than an objective thing. One may get excited over sports cars or exotic meals, but if you are a mushroom picker nothing will excite you more than finding a secret cluster of Chanterelles. That same cluster for ordinary people would pass unnoticed or elicit a mere meh. Some activities like roller coaster ride or a poker game are primarily meant to thrill, and almost everyone will find them exciting. The need for excitement is scientifically called sensation seeking and it's considered as one of many personality traits. People who are high on this trait crave novel experiences and often choose a career or a hobby that includes tension or risk. But what about bridge? Although silently sitting around the table and slowly following suits might not look like an exciting activity, bridge certainly has the potential to arouse intense emotions and even physiological bodily responses.

For most bridge players I know, bridge is a constant source of excitement. Indeed, bridge has such a huge potential for generating thrills in many different ways. In this column I'm going to cover some of the thrills that first spring to mind. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the exciting side of bridge, so please drop them in the comments below. For me, it always starts with…

…Anticipation.

Imagine a playing area. You are coming to the tournament with your favorite partner. You have been waiting for this moment for a while. You enter the room. The tables are already prepared, there is a hushed murmur of distant voices talking about kings and queens, you recognize a few. As you approach your table, more and more players enter the room and you can feel the battle is about to begin. Like a boxer in a ring, you wait for the TD to announce the beginning of a session, to push you from ordinary life to the exciting and surreal bridge subspace. Your palms sweat as you take the cards for the first board, and it goes on, card by card, board by board. Often after the tournament I feel a bit dizzy, similar to the feeling I get after watching a tense movie, and I need time to recover and remember what's going on with the rest of my life. And that's because of…

…the Thrill of the Game.

Do you remember the feeling you got when your first finesses held or when you leapt to a slam after your first Blackwood? When you preempted holding only marginal values? When you made your first throw in? Do you hold your breath when you make an ambiguous bid and wait for partner to respond? When you see a perfect defense and want your partner to play a certain suit? Can you feel your blood pressure raise when you are waiting for an opponent to miss guess a queen? Do your hands shake when you are about to claim a difficult contract?

Oh yes, our bodies get excited during the great game of bridge! These physiological reactions are similar to the fight or flight response – the primal evolutionary survival device. I can actually feel waves of tension passing through my body.  I am aware it's possible to learn how to stay (relatively) calm, how to adjust to such situations and reduce the stress, but I love this excitement. It's one of the main reasons I play - it's a bit like getting high, but in a safe and socially acceptable manner.

But there's more, and bridge allows us to push it a bit more to feel even more adrenaline running through our veins. As long as we're ready for…

… Risk and imagination.

At some stage all of us make a risky move during bidding or play. You might bid with garbage, pass with opening values, or decide to employ an extravagant line of play or lead. Many players do it, but for some, it's their default setting. Sensation seekers do it purposely with intention to create risky and exciting situations. There's a young player in our club, we call him Srfić (pronounced as surf followed by itch - that's Srfić on the photo opposite), who immediately springs to mind. While he's already an accomplished player and has been awarded several European and World championship medals, playing against him (or with him) is such a roller coaster that you rarely know what's going on. You can almost smell the jeopardy! He tends to choose the most unexpected action - but he's always ready to provide his rationale. Some may argue that it's not bridge but no one is going to deny it's exciting! He does to bridge what Anthony Bourdain was doing to food. While Srfić is really stretching it, there is a term alibi bid (or play) coined for those who never take a nonobvious action, and as the name suggests it is not considered a quality. Srfić is guided by youthful reasoning that he can’t really get harmed and even if he does - it will heal, and he will still have fun along the way. Watching him play reminds me of the girl I once was and his passion to produce an adventure on a mundane hand is familiar and makes me feel nostalgic. But even if you're careful, or even fearful at the table, bridge can still lead you to an…

… Adventure.

One rainy April evening, more than ten years ago, I received an email from the other side of the world. A lady from DC, Gretchen was coming to my Pula tournament. It was a dull (of course) evening so I answered immediately. We exchanged several emails and few hours later we had a come up with a plan for flights, accommodation and possible partners. Indeed, she was coming alone to a (suspicious) country she hadn't visited before and was excited to play with someone she'd never even met. Actually, she let me pick partners for her, she had no demands.  She was about 75 then, just recovering from a difficult medical treatment and needed adventure. To be honest, she had had a tremendously exciting career in the World Bank and Peace Corps traveling constantly all over the world, living in ten different countries and meeting the most interesting people, so she was not new to adventure. But now, in her senior years, bridge helps her lead an active, adventurous life. She liked Pula and she liked me, and continued with regular visits for several more years, sometimes even bringing friends. She formed a partnership with a Ukrainian player Boris (photo above) who represented his country at European and World championships. For years they eagerly looked forward to playing together in our Pula tournament. We celebrated her 80th  birthday together, here in Croatia, sipping wine and chatting about people and cards. I can hardly find words to describe how much I admire Gretchen’s adventurous spirit and I only wish to grow up to be like her one day. She's about 85 now and still plays in her club and enjoys both cards and people.

So, my bridge friends, how much thrill and excitement do you get from playing bridge? Would you recommend bridge to an intelligent sensation seeker? If there are two (or more options) for a bid or play, do you take the dull or more exciting option? I'm waiting for your comments and hope that bridge won't be an obstacle to me joining an online Dull Women's club. Wish me luck!

About the author

Tihana Brkljačić is a psychologist and a bridge player. She teaches psychology and bridge at Zagreb university. She represented Croatia at multiple European championships and at The World Championship (Wuhan cup) in 2022. As a psychologist, her main areas of interest are in quality of life, well-being and communication. Additionally, she studies the psychology of games (focusing on bridge in particular) and consults players on various topics.